Thought 1: Cat's About to Embark On An Experiment

So, I just got back from the 5th anniversary party of our bar. I was hanging out with Gino, our commissary manager, Seph, our creative designer, Ramon, our part time IT personnel and Seph's husband and Cecil, one of our accountants. Between us, we finished one whole bottle of GSM Gin Premium (I know, you're probably like, "Ehh? Gin?? That's sooo below the food chain!"). Again, it's Gin PREMIUM. It's a cheaper alternative to the very expensive Jose Cuervo Tequila and you take it the same way... by the shot, followed by a slice of orange.

I got drunk. And the 4 bottles of mineral water did little too sober me up. (It's a good thing I got home safely. I think the fact that I was already seated in the driver's seat did a lot to bring the alcohol level down). Anyway, I'm digressing. My bosses, who are drunkards (hence, the bar), and start almost all their daily conversations with "P*cha! Nalasing nanaman ako kagabi!" swear that if you drink GSM Gin Premium, no matter how dead drunk you are, you don't get hung over the next day.

Well, I'm gonna find out tomorrow.


Thought 2: KC Concepcion is my BFF.

Not true. I dreamt last night, however, that we were gimmick buddies. In fact, in my dream, she was waiting for me to get out of some sort of seminar/ church so we could go out already. Obviously, what brought about this dream is the story that she hung out at our bar right after the Super! Bazaar at the NBC Tent last Saturday and the waitstaff said that not only was she beautiful but also very, very nice.

At one point, she told one of our waitresses that she was pretty. She was also very excited to go out and be drinking because she hasn't done that in awhile. She asked the waitress what was a good drink and finally settled on a Blowjob (that's a drink, you green minded, ignorant ninny!). Not only that, she ordered 18 Blowjobs for her friends too. When it was time to go home, she asked another waitress, after giving her the bill, if it was possible to have two separate billings, one for the food and another for the drinks because she was paying for the drinks. She added that they didn't have to grant her request if it was too much of a hassle for the staff. Of course the staff happily obliged. And when she handed her credit card, she said to the waitress, "Thea, I trust you ha?"

You could tell that she was brought up well. None of those star complexes at all! I think she would make a great friend. In fact, in my dream, she didn't laugh at me when I told her that I loved her gown in the play, Beauty and The Beast. The funny thing is, I've never even seen the play!


Thought 3: What To Do? What To Do?

Earlier this week, I started noticing that I am gaining weight. Gone are my abs, now replaced with flabs (Hey, I made a rhyme!) October is just a couple of months away and soon I'll be in the shores of Boracay again, dancing in my bikini till 4am, getting drunk with tequila and gin. So I decided. For the first time in my life, I am going on a diet.

I haven't decided yet what to do. No rice, no carbs diet? Just a salad diet? No meat diet? After 6pm diet? As I contemplated on which diet to do, I munch every night on chips and sometimes, followed by a piece (or a bar, if I'm stubborn) of chocolate.

Yet miraculously, just thinking of dieting is making me thin! At least three people have told me that I'm getting thin. I look at them incredulously and tell them that I, in fact, gained weight! I insist that I gained weight! And they insist otherwise.

If just thinking about dieting is indeed slimming, then every woman in the world would be thin... and happy.